Choose love, not fear. It seems so simple. And yet...
The struggle is real, folks.
In the minds and hearts of everyone everywhere, there exists a secret war between light and darkness. Between living consciously and unconsciously. Between ego identity and spiritual awareness.
What we choose in each moment individually, reflects in the collective manifestation as a whole. Whatever battles we fight internally, we are also fighting externally. And it seems that our external reality is precarious at best.
How do you choose love in situations when it seems that fear is the only option?
Let’s take this down to a personal level. Say for instance, that you wreck your car. Almost anyone experiencing this traumatic event would tell you that they instantly and instinctually switched into panic or fear mode when the event occurred.
Duh — that’s a completely understandable and normal reaction.
Fear is inescapable; like all other emotions, whether positive or negative, it’s part of the human experience. When you try to outrun or outsmart fear, it will end up outsmarting you. Sooner or later, you’ll have to deal with the reason why the fear showed up in the first place.
We’ve been taught in our world culture to subdue our emotions — to deny fear, avoid pain and circumvent any potential fallout by maintaining a stranglehold of control.
This is hogwash. Take the running shoes off, my friend.
Attempting to run from having to feel pain is like trying to birth a child while simultaneously telling the midwife to keep it in the womb. An utterly futile effort, I assure you.
The reality we find ourselves in is one of obvious polarities; hot and cold, above and below, here and there, truth and fiction. You can’t have one without the other here. Try to deny fear, pain or responsibility and you will find yourself closed off from fully experiencing love, pleasure and fulfillment as well.
Our emotions serve a very important purpose — they let us know when something is in or out of alignment with our highest good. And control is illusionary; we cannot control how we feel, only how we react to our feelings. Emotions are not governed by logic. They just are.
When you are in resistance to an emotion (or to anything), when you fight it, the emotion tends to grow bigger and more intense. If you persist in blocking the narrative of your emotions, their story will end up manifesting as a block somewhere else — usually an energetic block or stagnation in your body, which can then create a dis-ease or some other disharmonious ickiness.
The option to choose something different comes after we have first honored whatever emotion has arisen in reaction to our circumstances.
By embracing an emotion, by allowing it to be, observing and processing why it exists in the first place — THEN it will release on its own because its purpose has been served.
The societally programmed construct of being reactionary, of deflecting responsibility while blaming others or numbing ourselves from our emotional turmoil (with alcohol, substance use, shopping therapy, etc.) is a multilayered web, foisted upon us for centuries now, that must be untangled with open-hearted objectiveness and delicate care.
But there’s a VERY worthwhile gift at the end of this tunnel…
All emotions have a vibration that resonates at a certain level, or frequency. Love, i.e. joy, gratitude, abundance, allowing, forgiveness, kindness, compassion, wonder, faith... these are emotions that resonate at a high vibration. Fear, i.e. worry, anxiety, anger, hate, un-forgivness, jealousy, envy, grief, guilt, shame, depression, despair... these emotions carry a low vibration.
This has actually been proven by Quantum Physics in the past several years (for more info on Quantum Physics, see the movie What The Bleep Do We Know and the accompanying book — they’re mind-bogglingly awesome!).
Scientists are now able to identify the energy signature of different emotions and measure the frequency at which their molecules vibrate. Since all molecules are energy at their essential core and Quantum Physics has proven that the observer of any molecule actually affects that molecule’s state of existence, this means that by simply observing our emotions, we are able to change their energy.
If we observe our emotions, while allowing them to exist without judgement, we alter their signature.
When we focus on our emotions with the intention of releasing energy that no longer serves us while inviting clarity and new energy in, we can change our emotional state for the better.
This is not to say that we need to ‘fix’ our emotional state. That would be ineffectual. Emotions are neither good nor bad — only our judgement makes them appear to be one or the other. And by judging ourselves, we limit our understanding.
Kind of hard to see what’s really going on if you’re stuck in a fog of criticism.
When you have an emotional reaction that you don’t understand or care for, ask yourself “What is this really about? What is this emotion here to show me?” Intuitively allow the answer to come to you.
Whatever answer you get, accept it without judgement. Then ask “What do I need right now?” In other words, what would support you in your efforts to allow that emotion to exist, without agitating it further? Once you get this answer, take action on it.
Here’s a simple example of the process I’m talking about:
The other day, I was attempting to French braid my 8 year old daughter’s hair. She has thick, beautiful curly hair that reaches to her waist. On a good day, her hair is, for all intents and purposes, absolutely impossible to brush without getting it 90% wet first and even then its a bit of a beast to style.
This day, for some reason, even though her hair was wet, it was being abnormally unruly. Or perhaps her hair was just responding to my rushed and frazzled energy of “We’re in a hurry, dang it, I don’t have time for this!” Internal face palm.
Either way, by the third attempt to re-brush and re-braid it, I was seriously frustrated. To make matters worse, my daughter was just shy of dancing a jig with her fidgeting and getting upset too. Exasperated, I finally became aware of the level of my anger and abruptly stopped trying to do anything.
An old pattern of mine used to be going into a place of shame when I felt angry. So now in these kinds of emotionally charged moments, I make sure to honor my anger and give it room to breathe.
With kindness in my heart, I said to myself “Anyone would be frustrated with this situation. I’m allowed to be frustrated right now.” Then I just sat quietly for a moment, while mentally and emotionally embracing what I was feeling, comforting my inner child.
Once I felt the pressure of my emotion lighten a little, I closed my eyes, took a couple of deep breaths and re-centered my energy, allowing a space of objectiveness to come forward. Then I asked myself “Ok, what is this really about?”
I heard somewhere in my consciousness, “I don’t want to deal with this. I don’t want to deal with anything.” Mentally, I briefly went over everything I was dealing with at that point in my life, realizing that this feeling was in direct correlation to these struggles and made perfect sense. I had waaaay too much on my plate and it was upsetting my apple cart, big time.
I then asked “What do I need right now?” Instantly, the simple solution of choosing a less complicated hairstyle flashed into my mind. Of course, any sane person should be able to see this solution, but when you’re in an emotionally triggered state, easy solutions aren’t readily discernible.
Every moment of emotional turmoil is an opportunity for us to look within and gain new insight about ourselves and the world around us. Every awful thing that happens offers some kind of gift at the end of the journey.
Once you figure this out, you begin to play the game differently.
Now when something ‘bad’ happens in my life, my response goes something like this:
“Ok. This is not how I wanted this to go, but what can I learn from this situation? What is this showing me about myself? How could I make a similar situation evolve in a better way in the future? Is there a hidden gift in these circumstances?”
This process has changed my life in a HUGE way — and caused my empowerment level to skyrocket.
If you can analyze a situation with an objective perspective, you may be surprised by the answers that are revealed.
Objectivity = higher perspective = higher consciousness = higher vibration = better experience
Most of us in the ‘spiritually aware’ lane are familiar with the concept of ‘like attracts like’ and the law of attraction. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this concept, it works as follows:
When we are in the vibration of love, our entire energy field expands and resonates at a level which attracts other people, things and situations to us that are resonating at that same frequency.
When we are in fear, our energy field contracts and becomes limiting, drawing to us other people, things and situations that are resonating on the frequency of fear.
What many of us (spiritually-minded peeps included) do not realize, is that when you are operating from an emotional/mental framework that has a lower vibrational frequency, you essentially cut yourself off from Source/Spirit/heaven/universal support/angels/guides.
The quantum field, or Divine realm, exists at a very high vibration. It is much harder for Source to connect and communicate with us when we are resonating at lower levels of consciousness. In essence, the answers you are searching for will not be accessible from lower vibrational frequencies.
How can we accomplish our soul’s mission in this life if we're cut off from the Divine?
I don’t know about you, but that lights a fire under my a**! My connection to Source is the central axis point in the wheel of my life, the governing force that makes all other things manifest and flow smoothly. Through this pure and stunning communion, the chaos of the world fades away and I am completely at peace — I am one with my truth. I am brought back to myself, embodying my highest capacity.
Step into your full power, She-Ra!
Sidebar: Did you know the original She-Ra: Princess of Power has been redesigned into a new tv show on Netflix, written entirely by women? More on that adventure here.
The mind is a tricky fish. It seems like such an almighty force, the "be all, end all" of our consciousness and identity, but it’s really just a computer — a computer that will process whatever you direct it to. It’s a magical sword of light that can be used, when connected to a higher consciousness, to cut through any swamp of darkness.
Point it toward beneficial evolution and it will solve all kinds of limiting issues. Point it toward your woes and it will create more of them for you.
It's up to you.
When we are in divine concert with the universe, our life unfolds with ease and grace — all things are possible. When we are in disharmony with our true nature, our lives exist in chaotic dissonance outside of universal flow.
Ring a bell, anyone?
The vista of our current world scene is the way it is because we are the way we are. The external is always a mirror image of the internal — at the micro and macro levels. If we want to change what we see in the world, we must first change ourselves.
Begin with your internal landscape... what are you running from rather than holding space for?
Where are you choosing fear rather than love?
The more we shift the notes of our individual melodies into harmonious resonance with the Divine, the song of our planet will shift into harmony as well.
To righteous self-empowerment & heroine worthy emotional alchemy,
P.S. If you feel inspired by this post, please show your support by using the heart icon on the bottom righthand corner, or comment below. You can also reach out to me on social media @starsongmaiden ❤︎